揚琴 二胡

Dong Dong Dong

First Chinese New Year away from home. I've never been away for a single CNY dinner before this, and the feeling is indeed not one I've become accustomed to.

A 36 degree 18% humidity day, typical for this time of the year. Sometimes I really wonder why Melbournians grumble a lot about the weather. Too hot, too cold, this that this that. I'm quite happy with heat, but the boyfriend finds it excruciating.

No angpau, no 7 course fatty pork meal. I didn't even feel like doing the tourist-ey trip to Chinatown and watch dodgy lion dancers and fat Vietnamese women doing their own rendition of CNY-carols with other old fat tourists standing around and snapping pictures.

Just dinner at home with the person who means more to me than anyone else in thus tiny little world.

And then it rained, we got stinking hot and sweaty, and just for a few split seconds the humidity reminded me of home and all the stuff I left behind me, perhaps bringing back the homesickness by a bit.

Happy Chinese New Year.

Flowers

I've recently started flower arranging again. This is my latest piece.

I wanted to try something tropical because I'm really starting to get homesick and the more I remind myself about the tropics the less I feel that way.

The tall leaves at the back were tricky. They just altered the centre of gravity so much and made the vase quite unstable; I'm worried it will topple over when puss climbes the table to take a closer look.

I'm quite happy with the results though. Even if I wasn't, I should be; the bloody flowers cost me bloody $68 to buy.

Valentines Bollocks

It is that time of the year again, when guys try to get girls into their beds and girls try to get into guys' beds. When teddy bears which are out of fashion by 12 years suddenly come back into fashion, even if it is only for a day. A time when vaginas are packed up into nice wrapping paper and sold for ten times their normal retail price. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore flowers. But that's from a botanical point of view. I don't want to be someone who gives flowers away to another person because it is just so bloody perverse.

I mean, if you think about it, a flower is the ultimate symbol of sexuality. It really is the plant's vagina. It WANTS to be 'pollinated'.

Oh, but some flowers have both male and female parts. And roses just happen to be one of them. So those of you who bought roses for your loved ones, what you really bought was a bunch of trannys tied together with pretty ribbon and wrapped in paper with the note ILOVEYOU scribbled on some cheap card.

Feeling better already?

That's why its called V-day. Vagina day.

Spread the love. Give away vaginas.

Daniel Radcliffe

Remember those bloody round glasses that were really pieces of plastic because there's nothing wrong with the boy's vision, and that horrible long girly hair he carried around in 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire'? He's come a long way since twinky stinky Potter (emphasis on the 'P'). At 17, he's now all grown up, ready to shed his horrible Hogwarts robes and bare it all for the world to see.

In his newest (and most controversial) role in Equus, a play showing in London's Gielgud Theatre, he appears to have no qualms about removing his clothing for the audience. According to the producer David Pugh, "...he does not hesitate to take his clothes off... appears to have confidence in his own appearance..."

He will play Alan Strang, a troubled teen who is jailed for blinding horses.

Of course, horrified parents of kids who are avid Potter fans have expressed their concern that their child's role model 'will present the wrong image' to their young-uns. Children, however, are delighted to see some chest hair and round-white-bottoms from the boy-wizard who will soon join the ranks of many other stars who have gone nude and since became famous (such as Ewan Mcgregor and Alex Dimitriades)

His appearance in the play, originally opened at the National Theatre in 1973 has helped rake in over £1million in pre-sale tickets.

So much for the toy boy. He's a bit skinny though, something my own boyfriend would probably like. But yeah, for those of you who haven't seen him without his top off, here are some of the promotional shoots done for the play.

Check out these cool photos!