Cold

As I write this I know the voices in my head are screaming for help. I've let this problem fester; left untreated this infectious wound has become gangrene. Now is the time to make a decision to sever it off or to die with it.

I'm not getting any input from the other side. I feel alienated from my own thoughts, my own feelings and my own needs. At the same time I want this relationship to work I realise I'm the only one clapping.

I've romantacised having someone I could hold in bed, wake up and have sex between the sheets, do silly things together, those sort of idealistic fantasy-world things. We don't do them. All I see is hurt, anger, distance and the feeling of helplessness.

There's been a breakdown in communication, we're not talking about the issues we have and I'm definitely not getting any input from his behaviour. I'm going to sit him down and try to get his side of the story later today; wish me luck.