Chill
Shades of grey outside. I am forced to withdraw myself under the comfort of my doona, cranking the thermostat to 40 and pulling the blinds down to keep the heat inside. The floorboards are nasty. I reckon the landlord did not put carpet in on purpose so that we’ll suffer. I have a hunch that landlords and real estate agents are cunts who will lie to you and rob you of every cent in return for a shabby accommodation that is so poorly insulated that you could keep red meat on the floor and it won’t go stale.
4pm. This is the time I've been waking up for the past month, often because I was up till sunrise the day before. My sleep cycle is fucked. I've forgotten what breakfast and lunch is, and my dinner is like tea.
I have chosen to go down the path of the unemployed, perhaps even oblivious to the rapidly decreasing figures in my bank account. Whatever amounts of sunlight I have are swallowed away from me as I take my time getting out from under this doona. I feel comfortable and safe in this spot, in my most favourite place in the world, my bed.
Friends? Who are they? I've not seen a friend in days. They're all busy running about pursuing their capitalist lifestyle and living on their parent's sweat and blood. That's the thing see, I don't know any real people. Everyone's just living off someone else, parasites they call ‘em. Even I, snobby as I seem, live off my scholarship, allowing me to indulge in sloth.
Video games. Reminds me of my horny horny teen days. I'm surprised my stubby old fingers can still work its magic. I've played Super Mario all over again and finished it thrice, and when I grew bored of it I gave myself more abandonware to fiddle with. My father was really clever when he got me this laptop; it's so shitty that I can't even run Warcraft on it. It crashes on me.
Ice cream and chocolate during non-exam periods? Unheard of. My body must still be in stressed mode. Coca is the No.1 chemical substance known to man that helps you to stay slim. Don't trust your mother, she doesn't know as much as I do. But I'm rapidly gaining weight even with the increased chocolate intake. Could it be the fatty chips and Indomie I’m having for meals?
Gym is distant and cold. Even in trekkies and a hoodie I feel the chill up my legs. Going to the gym in winter is so not cool. People wear more layers in winter, generally less showy of their nice hot legs which is a pity really. No excuses for not going to the gym. I just haven't been going.
Coffee is unappealing in winter. Something about the caffeine just doesn't do it for me. You'd think I'll be sipping away at hot drinks but no, it's chilled juice and Coke bottoms up. I'm a very weird and difficult to predict.
Caterpillars are back... in winter? The little buggers don't seem to hibernate. I've lost the crown of two shrubs so far in the past week, and when it stops raining I'm going to give the little buggers some pesticide. Well something's gotta die, innit. It’s either the shrubs or the bugs.
Boyfriend is working hard. He's been tied up in the office a lot (and no I don’t mean literally), and even though I see less and less of the daylight I still feel his absence. I'm all alone in the house for most of the day. Well, almost; just me and the puss cat, but he prefers to go to sleep for 15 hours a day while I can only manage 8. So that silence is there, a change from having noisy guests around, I guess, but I feel it's starting to bug me.
University is five days away. Soon the books will start piling on my desk and paper will start filling the folders. I'll have less time to myself and the boyfriend, less time for my friends, for my bed and for my MSN. Which is good, really, because I've been having a nice long holiday doing absolutely bollocks so a little bit of challenge and work shouldn't hurt.
I said SHOULDN'T.
Then again, I do miss the exams, because even in the midst of torture and frustration there was an end in mind, whereas at present my bored existence seems almost perpetual.
4pm. This is the time I've been waking up for the past month, often because I was up till sunrise the day before. My sleep cycle is fucked. I've forgotten what breakfast and lunch is, and my dinner is like tea.
I have chosen to go down the path of the unemployed, perhaps even oblivious to the rapidly decreasing figures in my bank account. Whatever amounts of sunlight I have are swallowed away from me as I take my time getting out from under this doona. I feel comfortable and safe in this spot, in my most favourite place in the world, my bed.
Friends? Who are they? I've not seen a friend in days. They're all busy running about pursuing their capitalist lifestyle and living on their parent's sweat and blood. That's the thing see, I don't know any real people. Everyone's just living off someone else, parasites they call ‘em. Even I, snobby as I seem, live off my scholarship, allowing me to indulge in sloth.
Video games. Reminds me of my horny horny teen days. I'm surprised my stubby old fingers can still work its magic. I've played Super Mario all over again and finished it thrice, and when I grew bored of it I gave myself more abandonware to fiddle with. My father was really clever when he got me this laptop; it's so shitty that I can't even run Warcraft on it. It crashes on me.
Ice cream and chocolate during non-exam periods? Unheard of. My body must still be in stressed mode. Coca is the No.1 chemical substance known to man that helps you to stay slim. Don't trust your mother, she doesn't know as much as I do. But I'm rapidly gaining weight even with the increased chocolate intake. Could it be the fatty chips and Indomie I’m having for meals?
Gym is distant and cold. Even in trekkies and a hoodie I feel the chill up my legs. Going to the gym in winter is so not cool. People wear more layers in winter, generally less showy of their nice hot legs which is a pity really. No excuses for not going to the gym. I just haven't been going.
Coffee is unappealing in winter. Something about the caffeine just doesn't do it for me. You'd think I'll be sipping away at hot drinks but no, it's chilled juice and Coke bottoms up. I'm a very weird and difficult to predict.
Caterpillars are back... in winter? The little buggers don't seem to hibernate. I've lost the crown of two shrubs so far in the past week, and when it stops raining I'm going to give the little buggers some pesticide. Well something's gotta die, innit. It’s either the shrubs or the bugs.
Boyfriend is working hard. He's been tied up in the office a lot (and no I don’t mean literally), and even though I see less and less of the daylight I still feel his absence. I'm all alone in the house for most of the day. Well, almost; just me and the puss cat, but he prefers to go to sleep for 15 hours a day while I can only manage 8. So that silence is there, a change from having noisy guests around, I guess, but I feel it's starting to bug me.
University is five days away. Soon the books will start piling on my desk and paper will start filling the folders. I'll have less time to myself and the boyfriend, less time for my friends, for my bed and for my MSN. Which is good, really, because I've been having a nice long holiday doing absolutely bollocks so a little bit of challenge and work shouldn't hurt.
I said SHOULDN'T.
Then again, I do miss the exams, because even in the midst of torture and frustration there was an end in mind, whereas at present my bored existence seems almost perpetual.
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Fell from the sky at 4:47 AM
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