Smooth

I love guys who are smooth. I think that smooth is the new Black. Not that I myself am totally smooth. I still have a tiger-trail and hair on my hands (and on some other parts that you do not need to know about!)

Fucking hell, I saw a guy on the train who was smooth-as. He was wearing this really short sleeved T-Shirt which had a low low low V-neck and you could see all the way down to the end of his sternum. Upon careful observation I found that he had not a SINGLE FUCKIN FOLLICLE OF HAIR all along his chest, or arms, or legs. DIU-NYA-MA-H*I. He had even shaved his head so he looked quite close to being on chemo (but you could make out the hairs struggling to grow back on his sideburns so I ruled this possibility out)

It’s just that I find it so sexy to touch a person with no hairs on their skin and feel the baby-soft texture of every inch of their body without worrying your finger might get lost in the Amazon.

Kinky.

Guys with lots of hair tend to smell a certain sort when they sweat. The next time you have sex, press your nose against the other person's chest (preferably if he is already sweating), and you are bound to be confronted with foul-smelling volatile organic compounds that only the kinky people would find attractive. Now if the person has huge dollops of coarse hair scattered strategically around the 'hotspots' (pardon the pun) you are bound to get even stronger odours. Trust me, I know from experience. There is nothing more gross than a person with bad BO and lots of chest hair.

To me, Greek people tend to smell sweet but at the same time musty, and Italians have a strong sourish tangy flavour to their sweat (presumedly from all the tomatoes and olive oil they consume). Chinese people too seem to smell shockingly sour (though there are some exceptions)... and the typical angmo guy smells like the cross is between something musty like an old jumper out of Granny's closet, and something that is wet and stale, like rotten fish. FYI I pick up smells easily. That's why the boyfriend calls me The Snuffeluphagus.

But coming right back to my point, I find smooth skin totally hot.

Then again smooth skin seems to be confined mostly to people who are of illegal age, and most of the legal-aged smooth guys are either girly or cunty or a combination of the two. Am I being unfair? Haha. Maybe it has to do with the correlation between the mediocre concentration of hair-producing testosterone and the unusually high concentration of oestrogen present in their blood. I don't know, I've never read any scientific studies about it.

But because they are so few and far in between, these smooth guys, it makes them even more 'desirable'.

I've considered going for laser treatment although the boyfriend has pointed out thousands of times that contrary to popular belief, it is not 'permanent' and could even resort in side effects such as pigmentation and redness. But I think the pain and complications are worth it. After all beauty ALWAYS comes with a price. Look at Paris Hilton. Even she’s going to jail.

And it sure as hell beats shaving plucking waxing clipping and trimming. Big time.

Smooth guys are hot, especially if they have hair in very tiny amounts and at strategic places. Not that I mind guys who have hair, though. Just as long as they know how to keep it nice and short, well trimmed around the edges and frequently cleaned.