Dinner

Then again, you can take the Malaysian away from the food but not the food away from the Malaysian.

We were recommended this Korean place in the City which apparently had good and cheap Korean food so we decided to give it a shot. The place was dinghy and smelt strongly of rancid oil, with the walls possibly covered in grime and centuries of unhealthy cooking.

Everywhere, objects from the distant land of Korea, be it the fuckinghugearse plasma screen (the brand was LG... what else) playing soppy Korean dramas, to the scrolls on the wall and even the cute-sy water bottles that they used to serve us chlorine-tasting water. The waiters were, of course, 100% Korean, judging from their accent and horrible command of English. Trust me I'm not being my usual racist self; they didn't even know what 'stir-fry noodle' was when we asked them.

Not only did they have really flattened faces, they also had the nastiest personality ever. Like, when we were sitting down they pulled an extremely bitter expression. Not that 18 people entering an eatery at one go was anything to be frowned upon especially considering we were ACTUALLY bringing them heaps of money.

Then when giving the menu they just chucked it onto the table. So unbecoming of a waiter. Didn't bother to come back after that to see if we had done picking amongst the gazillion-and-one dishes on the menu. They just fucking left us.

We had to stand up and do the Y-M-C-A dance before they noticed that we were ready to order, and even then it took them 100 years to locate a pen and paper.

Giving us a cup each for water, I realised mine had an Angelina-Jolie sized lipstick mark on it. Bloody idiots. I called them for a new one and they replaced it with another cup which had some black stuff at the bottom. Possibly some rat must have snucked into their cupboard and shit all over the cups.

I had to help myself to a clean cup from one of the waiter’s stations. I got a glass one that said “Best Best” on it.

~

After a much heated debate with the waiter about stir-fried noodles, the first plates of food came out - Kimchi!

Free flow kimchi is every health-conscious person's worse nightmare. Not to mentioned pickled everything-else, like pickled radish, pickled onions, pickled ginger... yum

Bloody idiots forgot to give us any chopsticks. What, expect us to eat with our hands ah??? Again, we had to do the Y-M-C-A dance to attract their attention. Jeez.

What better way to spend the evening than to get a bottle of Chamisol Soju (참이슬 소주), Korea's own version of wheat alcoholic beverage. Bloody $18 for a bottle, tastes like jet fuel too. Only after we had a bottle each did we realise it was 45% alcohol.

Diao.

~

Bulgolgi (불고기) in true Korean fashion. Full of chilli but never enough for the average Malaysian. After adding one tablespoon of chilli powder from one of the shakers I couldn't taste the bulgolgi anymore. All I tasted was just chilli powder.

But without the chilli all I tasted was salt. So, I put more chilli loh. Better taste chilli than taste fucking MSG. The 'chicken' bulgolgi was the best; damn a lot of vegetables in it. I love vegetables.

I'm not sure why they were so stingy with rice. I mean, come on, its just rice. After asking the waiter for extra rice to go with the spicy chicken (which was not spicy at all), we waited more than 30 minutes for the rice to come. Thankfully one of us who still hadn't already feel like jabbing the chopsticks into the waiter's eye, decided to ask again.

His face was very sour. Come to think of it, he looked more angry than us! Another 10 minutes for one stupid bowl of rice to come. By that time, all the samgyeopsal-gu (삼겹살구이) and saengseon-gui (생선구이) was finished. Only a bit of the kimchi was left so we decided to make kimchi rice salad using our chopsticks to toss the kimchi and rice together like yee-sang.

In the end, it looked so disgusting that even though we were still very hungry we did not dare eat it. So we just arranged it on the plate in neat rows, with rice grains alternating between bits of chopped and pickled cabbage. Joy!

We were running low on water and they still never came to our rescue. I know we are in a drought here and all but you can't expect us to eat all your MSG then refuse to give us water! We helped ourselves to the cute water bottles in the fridge across from where we sat without bothering about the ghastly stares we were starting to get from the waiters. Well, they asked for it!

Other people in the restaurant also went berserk and helped themselves to water out of the fridge after that. We must have started a trend.

~

I must have eaten the food really fast because at the other end of the table they hadn't even started on their main course. Then again, girls are usually slow eaters. So we just sat there talking about vibrators and The Pill. I think the angmoh lady sitting in the table near us must have choked on her food when we were talking about using condoms to store our spare change. Oops did we say it too loud? :P

~

When they want to get rid of you they slam the bill on your table. Whoa, so rude. We left a trail of sesame seeds (carefully arranged using two chopsticks) from an empty water bottle to a half-full one. I thought it was funny.

Stepping outside into the cold, I realise how stinky I smelt, full of grease and dirt from the particles floating in the air. Fucking Koreans.

I later realised that apart from the angmoh couple who sat near us, 100% of the people in that place were of Asian descent.

Hmm. I wonder why :P