Difference
How do you know when a person is being genuine to you? Is it the look in their eyes? Is it in the movement of their lips when they speak, or the colour of their skin when they blush?
What is it in a person that gives away their authenticity?
Upfront I can tell that people like being around me. Probably for coffees or for chat, or because I'm willing to do the work that nobody else is willing to do, or because I take time to think about the things that people don't usually think about.
People generally have no qualms about me being around them; few people despise me and even fewer want to have nothing to do with me. My presence does not arouse any suspicion or discomfort, nor does it provoke any rage or discontent.
People are happy for me to be around them, probably because I'm passively agreeing to most situations and I tend to keep my thoughts about the things I think about, to myself.
And it doesn't help either that the interests I have are vastly different from those around me.
But I'm not sure to what extent people like ME. How does a person see me as another person? I feel I have been sidelined in many conversations, even in the job that I'm pursuing, or at Uni where I am constantly surrounded by a multitude of people who are just like myself.
I hardly ever made any new friends in the past 6 months because I've been so afraid, so scared to speak up my thoughts and dreams, to challenge another person and to contribute my share of words in a group. My lack of sociability coupled with an absolute zero knowledge about the golden topics, 'drugs', 'music', 'art and culture' and 'who's-who', further leaves me speechless in a crowd.
And so I become sidelined, because I'm uninteresting. Nobody hears me, because I'm silent.
Which accentuates the feeling inside that I cannot afford to explain without using a certain amount of negativity. Not that my blog needs any more of that sort of morbidity.
It is not that I don't want people to acknowledge me.
I just don't know how.
What is it in a person that gives away their authenticity?
Upfront I can tell that people like being around me. Probably for coffees or for chat, or because I'm willing to do the work that nobody else is willing to do, or because I take time to think about the things that people don't usually think about.
People generally have no qualms about me being around them; few people despise me and even fewer want to have nothing to do with me. My presence does not arouse any suspicion or discomfort, nor does it provoke any rage or discontent.
People are happy for me to be around them, probably because I'm passively agreeing to most situations and I tend to keep my thoughts about the things I think about, to myself.
And it doesn't help either that the interests I have are vastly different from those around me.
But I'm not sure to what extent people like ME. How does a person see me as another person? I feel I have been sidelined in many conversations, even in the job that I'm pursuing, or at Uni where I am constantly surrounded by a multitude of people who are just like myself.
I hardly ever made any new friends in the past 6 months because I've been so afraid, so scared to speak up my thoughts and dreams, to challenge another person and to contribute my share of words in a group. My lack of sociability coupled with an absolute zero knowledge about the golden topics, 'drugs', 'music', 'art and culture' and 'who's-who', further leaves me speechless in a crowd.
And so I become sidelined, because I'm uninteresting. Nobody hears me, because I'm silent.
Which accentuates the feeling inside that I cannot afford to explain without using a certain amount of negativity. Not that my blog needs any more of that sort of morbidity.
It is not that I don't want people to acknowledge me.
I just don't know how.
Fell from the sky at 11:09 AM
2 Comments:
well, i can only speak for my friends, but it's clear to them you're an interesting person who's biding his time while he finds his conversational feet.
and (choosing my words carefully here) i think you may be more controversial than you realise.
i like u for who you are...albiet the differences in opinion, but at least u choose to be frank n open about it. :)
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