Grocery Shopping

I think I have a very high affinity to milk. Mom always said that I was a sucker; I'd never let go until I had more than my fair share. She hated breast feeding for the mere fact that I couldn't get enough of the good stuff. I'd like to imagine I've carried the sucking trait up until now because I certainly do like to suck on things (and no, I don't mean that THING you must be thinking about right now... I personally find dicks repulsive) Perhaps that's why I was put on baby formula at a very young age. Mother never saw the need to breast feed anyway; babies only need the milk in the first two years and after that anything that has the word "milk" on it whether it came from a sheep or a cow's behind it really doesn't matter anymore. Protein is protein, wherever it may have come from (now now, please take those dirty thoughts off your mind)

I have been drinking cow's milk even before I could walk and I love the stuff. It's creamy and has a twang to it, much like alcohol only minus the hangover. Milk in Malaysia is very expensive; I think 1L of decent cow milk sells for around RM4, not something you'd buy everyday.

But when I came here to Australia I found that the stuff is cheaper than bottled water. A typical 1.5L bottle of mineral water costs around $3 here, and a 3L carton of milk costs around $3.50. Australian cows must have it good in the farms; they certainly know how to deliver the goods.

I ran out of milk today probably because I've been drinking the stuff everyday twice a day for the past week. I think the exam is taking its toll on me; I've resorted to having milk as my comfort food to help me forget about Markovnikov’s Rule and Independent Segregation of Homologs.

I decided to visit the local grocery store to get a fresh supply. The day was certainly obliging, cold as hell and gloomy like there was no tomorrow. I felt as though I was naked out there; with only two layers of clothing protecting me from the chill I swear I could feel my balls freeze in its sacs.

The supermarket was really empty today; my best guess was that nobody shops on a Wednesday evening. There were crates of fresh apples being sorted out by a few store attendants, fresh vegetables being carted to the shelves and the smell of roast chicken coming from the counter. The place was full with life.

I headed right to the back of the supermarket to get the goods that I wanted. If you live in Australia you'll know that there are a gazillion types to choose from. Whether its full cream milk or Lite milk, whether soy or dairy, low fat high fat vitamin additives chocolate vanilla flavours long-life high-calcium low-cholesterol skim homogenised or powder form, across a whole range of different brands pretty much offering the variants of the same thing, milk.

I don't get why people like to drink Lite milk because it tastes like urine. They did something to remove the fat and milk solids in the milk and as a result the milk ends up watery. It does not have the full flavour or smell of natural full-cream milk and tastes awful when eaten together with cereal. It is not fat free as most people assume, but LOW FAT, and it actually costs much more than full cream milk.

Then there's soy milk with all its benefits; anti ageing, antioxidants, anti-dairy, anti everything. Too radical for a sucker like me.

I took a 3L carton of full cream milk and headed to the cashier. There must have been three other people before me with four registers open. As I placed my milk on the conveyer belt I noticed that the guy in front of me had a pile of groceries the height of Mt. Everest.

There were muesli bars, cereals of all sorts, yoghurt, apples in the dozens, lean beef, some odd type of cheese I've never seen before, a couple of greens, potatoes, oh potatoes, there must have been five kilos of them... Lean CuisineTM boxes, free range eggs, some instant pizzas, bread, a couple of canned food and some other stuff I hadn't seen as the lady behind the cashier had already tucked them into his green save-the-Earth canvas bag.

While I was fixating on the goods he'd purchased I didn't realise that he was fixating his eyes on ME.

I was thinking to myself what awful things I should say to this prick when I noticed that he had a smile on his face… ugh...

The cashier apparently noticed our little eye-to-eye stare as she nonchalantly went about her robotic business scanning items across the red blinking light. I could have paid her to say something to this man in front of me but she was too busy attacking the groceries with her itchy fingers.

Again, I got that fucking smile from him. Ugh. Thankfully after he swiped his Visa and got his receipt he walked away faster than I could say "MOO". I was so embarrassed it must have shown because the lady behind the counter gave out a laugh. To my disgust it wasn’t one of those friendly laughs; it sounded very patronising... Think Paris Hilton and menstruation.

I remember holding my milk in the tram thinking so hard about this meaningless encounter that I missed my tram stop and had to walk an extra 700m back home.