Worry
There is a fine line between being dreamy and being a good planner.
I guess it is pretty normal to want to have a stable life after graduation. To have enough money in the bank account and to pay off the credit cards, to have a car to drive and to have a roof under which you can build your home.
To have a relationship that you can lean on during the toughest of times, and to enjoy during brighter days.
To have a garden where roses and daisies can grow in it
To have a stable career that pays you not excessively but sufficiently, and one which you thoroughly enjoy.
Perhaps it is in everyone's interest to aim for a white-picket fence life because that's what we are; idealists.
And yet some times along the way we find that we are nowhere near what we imagined life to be. Dreading bills that arrive in the mailbox, eating peas off cans to help stay within budget, renting a shabby cramped but expensive room to call a home and crawling to work on it-takes-two-freaking-hours-standing-on-the-bus-and-one-freaking-hour-sitting-on-the-train public transport.
Sometimes it just doensn't turn out the way we wish it would be
Which probably explains why the insecure people tend to worry far ahead about things which are beyond their control rather than focus on what can be changed at present moment.
Yet, it doesn't hurt to dream to improve one's life especially if the past has been ardous and painful.
When presented with opportunities I cannot help myself from overplanning. Maybe, put some money into a trust fund. Maybe, invest in stocks. Maybe, check out the latest housing loan rates so that I'd know how much I'll be in debt by the time I actually get a house. Maybe, check out property and car prices, calculate inflation factors and predict market conditions. What about jobs? Maybe, think about migration to another country and settling there. Maybe, having a diswasher and a 5kg front load washing machine. Maybe an expresso machine to churn out my morning coffee. Maybe seeing a Mini-Cooper in my garage. Maybe, the colour scheme for the house so that it looks cool in the kitchen and romantic in the hallway. Maybe plant roses to line the fence, or conifers to add foliage to the backyard. Maybe a wardrobe of Zegna coats and Ferragamo shirts. Whether to have a cat named Tom or a dog named Bob.
And at times I lose sight of what I should be concentrating on RIGHT NOW, which is my studies.
I can graduate with the best degree ever but will that stop me from worrying about tomorrow? Worrying about interest rates? Worrying about the cost of oil or the price of household goods? Worrying about managing my first paycheck? Having a boyfriend? Worry whether I'll ever own those Hugo Boss boots? Worry about being able to afford a holiday to Europe? Worry worry worry
People can throw caution to the wind and say safely that they don't give a rat's ass about tomorrow. So what if the credit card is eating up that 3-month bonus that just got credited in last week. So what if the house is re-morgaged. So what if the daffodils in my garden die or the neighbour is a freaking old lady who can't keep her dirty nose out of my gay-ass business.
Some people can do that. Enjoy now and worry later.
And I wish I could do that, I sincerely do. I wish I didn't have to worry about whether I could afford next month's house rent, or whether I should buy that mince beef that expires tomorrow because it costs 40% cheaper, whether I should save 15 cents by walking an extra km to get my groceries. I wish I didn't need to worry whether I'd score the required minimum grade to satisfy my freaking scholarship providers, or whether I look good in purple and blue.
Point is, I worry too much.
Sometimes, it can be a good thing to plan your way towards a better life but maybe, just maybe, I plan too much. And that has got me nowhere but into this shit-hole called S T R E S S
Mom was right. Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.
I guess it is pretty normal to want to have a stable life after graduation. To have enough money in the bank account and to pay off the credit cards, to have a car to drive and to have a roof under which you can build your home.
To have a relationship that you can lean on during the toughest of times, and to enjoy during brighter days.
To have a garden where roses and daisies can grow in it
To have a stable career that pays you not excessively but sufficiently, and one which you thoroughly enjoy.
Perhaps it is in everyone's interest to aim for a white-picket fence life because that's what we are; idealists.
And yet some times along the way we find that we are nowhere near what we imagined life to be. Dreading bills that arrive in the mailbox, eating peas off cans to help stay within budget, renting a shabby cramped but expensive room to call a home and crawling to work on it-takes-two-freaking-hours-standing-on-the-bus-and-one-freaking-hour-sitting-on-the-train public transport.
Sometimes it just doensn't turn out the way we wish it would be
Which probably explains why the insecure people tend to worry far ahead about things which are beyond their control rather than focus on what can be changed at present moment.
Yet, it doesn't hurt to dream to improve one's life especially if the past has been ardous and painful.
When presented with opportunities I cannot help myself from overplanning. Maybe, put some money into a trust fund. Maybe, invest in stocks. Maybe, check out the latest housing loan rates so that I'd know how much I'll be in debt by the time I actually get a house. Maybe, check out property and car prices, calculate inflation factors and predict market conditions. What about jobs? Maybe, think about migration to another country and settling there. Maybe, having a diswasher and a 5kg front load washing machine. Maybe an expresso machine to churn out my morning coffee. Maybe seeing a Mini-Cooper in my garage. Maybe, the colour scheme for the house so that it looks cool in the kitchen and romantic in the hallway. Maybe plant roses to line the fence, or conifers to add foliage to the backyard. Maybe a wardrobe of Zegna coats and Ferragamo shirts. Whether to have a cat named Tom or a dog named Bob.
And at times I lose sight of what I should be concentrating on RIGHT NOW, which is my studies.
I can graduate with the best degree ever but will that stop me from worrying about tomorrow? Worrying about interest rates? Worrying about the cost of oil or the price of household goods? Worrying about managing my first paycheck? Having a boyfriend? Worry whether I'll ever own those Hugo Boss boots? Worry about being able to afford a holiday to Europe? Worry worry worry
People can throw caution to the wind and say safely that they don't give a rat's ass about tomorrow. So what if the credit card is eating up that 3-month bonus that just got credited in last week. So what if the house is re-morgaged. So what if the daffodils in my garden die or the neighbour is a freaking old lady who can't keep her dirty nose out of my gay-ass business.
Some people can do that. Enjoy now and worry later.
And I wish I could do that, I sincerely do. I wish I didn't have to worry about whether I could afford next month's house rent, or whether I should buy that mince beef that expires tomorrow because it costs 40% cheaper, whether I should save 15 cents by walking an extra km to get my groceries. I wish I didn't need to worry whether I'd score the required minimum grade to satisfy my freaking scholarship providers, or whether I look good in purple and blue.
Point is, I worry too much.
Sometimes, it can be a good thing to plan your way towards a better life but maybe, just maybe, I plan too much. And that has got me nowhere but into this shit-hole called S T R E S S
Mom was right. Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.
Fell from the sky at 7:44 PM
2 Comments:
you're just too much crap. don be such a competitive bitch that thinks yourself you are damn cool or whatever gaiety you feel you get is what it should be as a so call yourself high society gayboy, look at your introduction is damn country from.
It could help that you articulate your comment better, Mr anonymous, as I can't really understand (and a few other people have agreed with me) what you are trying to say exactly. Though I think I get the gist of it
It isn't about me thinking that I'm too cool for this world or that I'm in a high society gayboy.
It isn't about wanting to compete with other people to see who's got the larger share of the wealth pie.
It is more of me not being happy with what I already have and wanting more.
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