A Letter, Part 2
Dear God,
Help me to understand that there is a huge difference between a person loving you and a person having lustful desires for you. Just because you crawl into another person's bed it doesn't mean that they are willing to share your problems with you. It doesn’t mean they want to know about how you are going in school or whether you are getting enough to eat. It doesn’t mean that they will provide you with a shoulder to cry on during the toughest of times. It doesn’t mean that they are willing to provide you with protection and a safe place to hide even though it feels so warm and secure under those sheets.
It just means that they are sexually attracted to you. Period.
Help me to know the difference between someone who is willing to pull out his Visa because he's feeling good today, and a person who wants to buy his way into your crotch.
Just because he offers to pay for the bill, it doesn't mean that you have to oblige. I have learnt a valuable lesson; that expensive dinner you just ate and that movie ticket he just bought you all came with a price; and that price is you.
He is paying for YOU, not the dinner, not the movie.
He is willing to invest in YOU because he thinks that his cash can buy him your cock.
Help me to understand that I do not need to be splurged upon in order to feel happy. I do not need another person’s money in order to feel loved. Help me know that I should be treated with so much more dignity and not like a rent boy.
Have I become a rent boy? A rent boy is one who takes things from people in return for his charm, in return for sexual favours, in return for providing some form of happiness to the investor. Am I like that???
Help me to be less selfish when it comes to the people whom I call friends. I am very good at taking but never knowing when and where to return the favour. I have become a taker and a pusher. I do not know how to be generous and I do not know how to make another person happy. I am too busy rambling about my own happiness, or lack thereof.
Give me hope that despite my imperfections, despite my stubborn nature and opinioned views, there is still a chance for change.
Please hold me tight and keep me safe so that I may sleep at night knowing that at least someone out there loves me just the way I am.
Someone who loves me even though I am less than perfect.
Help me to understand that there is a huge difference between a person loving you and a person having lustful desires for you. Just because you crawl into another person's bed it doesn't mean that they are willing to share your problems with you. It doesn’t mean they want to know about how you are going in school or whether you are getting enough to eat. It doesn’t mean that they will provide you with a shoulder to cry on during the toughest of times. It doesn’t mean that they are willing to provide you with protection and a safe place to hide even though it feels so warm and secure under those sheets.
It just means that they are sexually attracted to you. Period.
Help me to know the difference between someone who is willing to pull out his Visa because he's feeling good today, and a person who wants to buy his way into your crotch.
Just because he offers to pay for the bill, it doesn't mean that you have to oblige. I have learnt a valuable lesson; that expensive dinner you just ate and that movie ticket he just bought you all came with a price; and that price is you.
He is paying for YOU, not the dinner, not the movie.
He is willing to invest in YOU because he thinks that his cash can buy him your cock.
Help me to understand that I do not need to be splurged upon in order to feel happy. I do not need another person’s money in order to feel loved. Help me know that I should be treated with so much more dignity and not like a rent boy.
Have I become a rent boy? A rent boy is one who takes things from people in return for his charm, in return for sexual favours, in return for providing some form of happiness to the investor. Am I like that???
Help me to be less selfish when it comes to the people whom I call friends. I am very good at taking but never knowing when and where to return the favour. I have become a taker and a pusher. I do not know how to be generous and I do not know how to make another person happy. I am too busy rambling about my own happiness, or lack thereof.
Give me hope that despite my imperfections, despite my stubborn nature and opinioned views, there is still a chance for change.
Please hold me tight and keep me safe so that I may sleep at night knowing that at least someone out there loves me just the way I am.
Someone who loves me even though I am less than perfect.
Fell from the sky at 12:04 AM
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