Subjects
These are just random thoughts about random people. No names shall be revealed. You'll probably know if I'm talking about you and that's the magical thing; you won't know the other people I'm talking about. Note: every subject is a different person.
Subject 1
We have agreed to play the gege-didi game for a long time now. But the distance really kills the relationship. It has been such a long time since I truly got a conversation with him, partly because of the nature of my job and the amount of time he has to spend with his studies. I think I am drifting apart from him. Sometimes I just let the messages on MSN blink without answering them; I am too tired. But somehow he seems to understand. I may need to pay him a visit as I have never seen him in person... but that will involve a flight across the South China Sea. I think he is one of the few people whom I can genuinely call a close buddy.
Subject 2
Previously I have shared many problems and listened to many of his problems. Although due to the distances we are unable to help each other physically, perhaps it is the verbal support that keeps us together as a friend, or so I thought... because now as his life takes on a happier turning, I lay here forgotten. I don't expect him to message me or call me, perhaps I just hope that he'd know that I haven't forgotten him. I try to reach out and yet all I receive in return are blank stares. He's going overseas for a holiday.
Subject 3
I made an appointment with a friend to go for dinner on Saturday. It was agreed that he will come and pick me up as he was the one with the car. I rushed back home and got all dressed up, did my hair, picked matching clothes and did all the miscellaneous grooming to look my best. I waited for him from 5.30pm until around 8.45pm, sending messages asking whether he was coming or what his plans were. It wasn't until 8.45pm that I finally gave in and realised that I have been tricked. He was never coming. He only said sorry to me today, albeit half-heartedly, not that I was even expecting a sorry to come. His excuse? His other friend didn’t let him go. And yeah, he didn’t have the courtesy to inform me.
Subject 4
He has planned to go to HK to work. I applaud his decision; it isn't an easy one. He loves to travel and I assume he hates Malaysia, judging by the way that he describes KL. The only thing I couldn't understand was, he didn't tell me that he was going to leave until now, which must have been a long time since he made a decision. He also told me that he's going to get his Visa done and then off he goes. I've hardly heard from him on MSN, and totally did not receive a single message from him on my phone. I guess he's moved on without me. I really hope that he finds a good job and gets to settle down in HK. Maybe I’ll buy him coffee before he leaves, if, that is, he is willing to meet up before then.
Subject 5
We have agreed to go shopping in December but I doubt that she will be down in time. She has already told me that she will be having exams, but I hardly hear anything else from her. No replies to messages, no replies to phone calls. I guess she is genuinely busy. Either that or she's got another boyfriend. It is really hard to say. I plan to take her to Avenue-K and show her the lambskin coat that caught my eye.
Subject 6
Why do people say words that they do not mean? Sometimes it may be that they are joking with you. But sometimes the jokes can be too serious to be considered one. Perhaps the words he said were too sharp to my ears, or I was just being overly sensitive. All I know is that I never expected such words to come from him. He was attached, and yet he asked me to go over to his place for sex. Initially I shrugged it off lightly, but after awhile I started to get angry over it. Don't ask me why I did. Luckily it was on SMS; if he had told it to me in person I would have slapped him.
Subject 7
Sometimes when you meet someone for the first time, you tend to see that they are much more than they portray. Behind the clothes, accessories and looks, they are so much more. In one day I met him twice, and we had already bonded close to each other. I have yet to pick up any trace of scent from his body (mainly because he uses a lot of deodorant) but I can tell that he is quite hairless... just the type of skin I like. Heck I even want to go laser off my own hair! He is toned but that's not what I like most about him. Most of all I love to hug him. And for a Chinese educated person, to be able to have a decent conversation with an English educated banana like me; gorgeous. We had very meaningful conversations over a cup of coffee. I'm looking forward to meeting him again.
Subject 8
She probably wants kids of her own but I feel that she doesn't know how to take care of them. Sometimes she doesn't realise that she utters the words "lao gong" abruptly, with no reason at all. I can tell that she really needs a man by her side, but those that she already have are just disgusting. She hasn't paid much attention to me either, although I can tell that she's resentful because of the things I do. She seldom returns my "hi's" and "bye's", although she treats my brother with greater respect and love. Such double standards.
Subject 9
He promised me that he will take care of me but I felt that it was more of a restriction. I don't like being told what to do, especially if it concerns my own private matters. I don't like people bossing me around telling me that I should do this and I should do that. Perhaps you could suggest to me, but I need not necessarily follow what you have to say. However, he wanted me to follow his way because ultimately it would benefit him. He would get the better slice of the cake, and he knew this all to well. Stubborn and defiant, I chose not to give in. I know I made the right choice, because I felt great doing it. Currently I am still trying to forgive; it is only a matter of time. All I can say is that this event has seriously scarred my relationship with him.
Subject 10
I guess he falls in the category of "another one of those hi-bye friends" because that's exactly what he does. Hi and Bye. It is hard to tell what he wants exactly as his mood changes very fast, but that's pretty normal considering that he's younger than me. He loves me to send him my pictures. I just hope that he doesn't drool over them or use them as porno material. I think I'm going to go sick just thinking about it.
Subject 11
She left for Penang the day I messaged her. I was too late as I had not anticipated her departure. Blame me for not realising the long Deepavali-Raya week was just around the corner. She promised me that she'll call me when she returns. I've known her for 5 years but after I left high school I've hardly kept in contact with her. I think of all the people she knew in the school, she treated me as someone special. I took that as a very big complement, and really enjoyed the attention, but hardly took the time to reciprocate the favour due to the undying criticism from peers. Initially I planned on meeting up with her, but I seldom found the time. I think I must buy her a drink if I finally get to go to Australia.
Subject 12
I have been in contact with him for more than a month, maybe slightly over a month and a half. Although we've only talked online, I feel that I really wish to meet up with him because I feel connected. Then again, it takes two hands to clap. While I send him messages at night asking how his day went, or just hugs of affection "cyber-style", I usually get few or no replies. I must admit that in the beginning he did give me phone calls, but now he doesn’t even message. He’s very happy with his current situation, as elaborated on his blog so I guess that he doesn’t see the need to have an extra “friend” like me. Day by day, I feel he's pushing me to a corner
Subject 13
His temper is unlike any other. Just a simple misunderstanding and he logs off msn abruptly. We didn't get dinner that Friday because of this misunderstanding. I felt a bit horrified because he did this; I was just trying to care for him. I think I send him too many "hug-hug" messages and asked him how he was doing too often. I hardly get messages from his side anyway. His other friend claims that he has very few friends because of this, because he can never control his temper. Although I wish to help him, I am really running out of ideas and leads. I just wish that he'd be happy because whenever the tempers flare, I see a bit of myself in him and I know that isn't always a good sign.
Subject 14
I was supposed to have dinner with him on Sunday and I waited for him to confirm the time with me. Perhaps in doing so it was also fault on my part as I didn't take the initiative to send him messages to reconfirm the time. I only received a phone call from him at 8.32pm (as it says here on my handphone) asking me why I hadn't called him to reconfirm the time. I was baffled, as he told me that he was waiting for my call as well. We ended up canceling the dinner.
Subject 15
I plan to go to Kota Kinabalu one day. East Malaysia has always been on my list of must-go's because I love nature and East Malaysia has tons of it. Fortunately he has already told me that I can always stay in his house if I ever drop by. He treats me like a little boi... or his dear dear... and I feel very warm when I speak to him online. I've never heard his voice or seen him in person, but I certainly look forward to it. I was really down due to personal matters a few days ago, and he was the only one who helped pick me up from my low-point. I guess that after a while, I've grown close to him and I share a lot of my probelms with him. He has very nice lips; very kissable. I think I'll try to meet him after Chinese New Year. He regrets that he isn't employed in his old job which would have enabled him to visit KL more often.
Subject 16
I thought that we were going to be close forever until he said that we should now just remain as "friends". He's finding other people to satisfy his needs now. He went to Japan for a few days and I hope that he will buy me the things that I mentioned, although I cannot count on it too much. He still treats me very well and I think he still looks out for me as a fatherly figure, but I can tell that he's moved on with the lovey-dovey part of the relationship. I know that it would happen someday because I already enforced my stand; no more bottom-ing. I guess for now I will just have to feel comfortable being treated as a small boi (which I do) in the way that he does so well. He gave me a PDI shirt and I really love the colour.
Subject 1
We have agreed to play the gege-didi game for a long time now. But the distance really kills the relationship. It has been such a long time since I truly got a conversation with him, partly because of the nature of my job and the amount of time he has to spend with his studies. I think I am drifting apart from him. Sometimes I just let the messages on MSN blink without answering them; I am too tired. But somehow he seems to understand. I may need to pay him a visit as I have never seen him in person... but that will involve a flight across the South China Sea. I think he is one of the few people whom I can genuinely call a close buddy.
Subject 2
Previously I have shared many problems and listened to many of his problems. Although due to the distances we are unable to help each other physically, perhaps it is the verbal support that keeps us together as a friend, or so I thought... because now as his life takes on a happier turning, I lay here forgotten. I don't expect him to message me or call me, perhaps I just hope that he'd know that I haven't forgotten him. I try to reach out and yet all I receive in return are blank stares. He's going overseas for a holiday.
Subject 3
I made an appointment with a friend to go for dinner on Saturday. It was agreed that he will come and pick me up as he was the one with the car. I rushed back home and got all dressed up, did my hair, picked matching clothes and did all the miscellaneous grooming to look my best. I waited for him from 5.30pm until around 8.45pm, sending messages asking whether he was coming or what his plans were. It wasn't until 8.45pm that I finally gave in and realised that I have been tricked. He was never coming. He only said sorry to me today, albeit half-heartedly, not that I was even expecting a sorry to come. His excuse? His other friend didn’t let him go. And yeah, he didn’t have the courtesy to inform me.
Subject 4
He has planned to go to HK to work. I applaud his decision; it isn't an easy one. He loves to travel and I assume he hates Malaysia, judging by the way that he describes KL. The only thing I couldn't understand was, he didn't tell me that he was going to leave until now, which must have been a long time since he made a decision. He also told me that he's going to get his Visa done and then off he goes. I've hardly heard from him on MSN, and totally did not receive a single message from him on my phone. I guess he's moved on without me. I really hope that he finds a good job and gets to settle down in HK. Maybe I’ll buy him coffee before he leaves, if, that is, he is willing to meet up before then.
Subject 5
We have agreed to go shopping in December but I doubt that she will be down in time. She has already told me that she will be having exams, but I hardly hear anything else from her. No replies to messages, no replies to phone calls. I guess she is genuinely busy. Either that or she's got another boyfriend. It is really hard to say. I plan to take her to Avenue-K and show her the lambskin coat that caught my eye.
Subject 6
Why do people say words that they do not mean? Sometimes it may be that they are joking with you. But sometimes the jokes can be too serious to be considered one. Perhaps the words he said were too sharp to my ears, or I was just being overly sensitive. All I know is that I never expected such words to come from him. He was attached, and yet he asked me to go over to his place for sex. Initially I shrugged it off lightly, but after awhile I started to get angry over it. Don't ask me why I did. Luckily it was on SMS; if he had told it to me in person I would have slapped him.
Subject 7
Sometimes when you meet someone for the first time, you tend to see that they are much more than they portray. Behind the clothes, accessories and looks, they are so much more. In one day I met him twice, and we had already bonded close to each other. I have yet to pick up any trace of scent from his body (mainly because he uses a lot of deodorant) but I can tell that he is quite hairless... just the type of skin I like. Heck I even want to go laser off my own hair! He is toned but that's not what I like most about him. Most of all I love to hug him. And for a Chinese educated person, to be able to have a decent conversation with an English educated banana like me; gorgeous. We had very meaningful conversations over a cup of coffee. I'm looking forward to meeting him again.
Subject 8
She probably wants kids of her own but I feel that she doesn't know how to take care of them. Sometimes she doesn't realise that she utters the words "lao gong" abruptly, with no reason at all. I can tell that she really needs a man by her side, but those that she already have are just disgusting. She hasn't paid much attention to me either, although I can tell that she's resentful because of the things I do. She seldom returns my "hi's" and "bye's", although she treats my brother with greater respect and love. Such double standards.
Subject 9
He promised me that he will take care of me but I felt that it was more of a restriction. I don't like being told what to do, especially if it concerns my own private matters. I don't like people bossing me around telling me that I should do this and I should do that. Perhaps you could suggest to me, but I need not necessarily follow what you have to say. However, he wanted me to follow his way because ultimately it would benefit him. He would get the better slice of the cake, and he knew this all to well. Stubborn and defiant, I chose not to give in. I know I made the right choice, because I felt great doing it. Currently I am still trying to forgive; it is only a matter of time. All I can say is that this event has seriously scarred my relationship with him.
Subject 10
I guess he falls in the category of "another one of those hi-bye friends" because that's exactly what he does. Hi and Bye. It is hard to tell what he wants exactly as his mood changes very fast, but that's pretty normal considering that he's younger than me. He loves me to send him my pictures. I just hope that he doesn't drool over them or use them as porno material. I think I'm going to go sick just thinking about it.
Subject 11
She left for Penang the day I messaged her. I was too late as I had not anticipated her departure. Blame me for not realising the long Deepavali-Raya week was just around the corner. She promised me that she'll call me when she returns. I've known her for 5 years but after I left high school I've hardly kept in contact with her. I think of all the people she knew in the school, she treated me as someone special. I took that as a very big complement, and really enjoyed the attention, but hardly took the time to reciprocate the favour due to the undying criticism from peers. Initially I planned on meeting up with her, but I seldom found the time. I think I must buy her a drink if I finally get to go to Australia.
Subject 12
I have been in contact with him for more than a month, maybe slightly over a month and a half. Although we've only talked online, I feel that I really wish to meet up with him because I feel connected. Then again, it takes two hands to clap. While I send him messages at night asking how his day went, or just hugs of affection "cyber-style", I usually get few or no replies. I must admit that in the beginning he did give me phone calls, but now he doesn’t even message. He’s very happy with his current situation, as elaborated on his blog so I guess that he doesn’t see the need to have an extra “friend” like me. Day by day, I feel he's pushing me to a corner
Subject 13
His temper is unlike any other. Just a simple misunderstanding and he logs off msn abruptly. We didn't get dinner that Friday because of this misunderstanding. I felt a bit horrified because he did this; I was just trying to care for him. I think I send him too many "hug-hug" messages and asked him how he was doing too often. I hardly get messages from his side anyway. His other friend claims that he has very few friends because of this, because he can never control his temper. Although I wish to help him, I am really running out of ideas and leads. I just wish that he'd be happy because whenever the tempers flare, I see a bit of myself in him and I know that isn't always a good sign.
Subject 14
I was supposed to have dinner with him on Sunday and I waited for him to confirm the time with me. Perhaps in doing so it was also fault on my part as I didn't take the initiative to send him messages to reconfirm the time. I only received a phone call from him at 8.32pm (as it says here on my handphone) asking me why I hadn't called him to reconfirm the time. I was baffled, as he told me that he was waiting for my call as well. We ended up canceling the dinner.
Subject 15
I plan to go to Kota Kinabalu one day. East Malaysia has always been on my list of must-go's because I love nature and East Malaysia has tons of it. Fortunately he has already told me that I can always stay in his house if I ever drop by. He treats me like a little boi... or his dear dear... and I feel very warm when I speak to him online. I've never heard his voice or seen him in person, but I certainly look forward to it. I was really down due to personal matters a few days ago, and he was the only one who helped pick me up from my low-point. I guess that after a while, I've grown close to him and I share a lot of my probelms with him. He has very nice lips; very kissable. I think I'll try to meet him after Chinese New Year. He regrets that he isn't employed in his old job which would have enabled him to visit KL more often.
Subject 16
I thought that we were going to be close forever until he said that we should now just remain as "friends". He's finding other people to satisfy his needs now. He went to Japan for a few days and I hope that he will buy me the things that I mentioned, although I cannot count on it too much. He still treats me very well and I think he still looks out for me as a fatherly figure, but I can tell that he's moved on with the lovey-dovey part of the relationship. I know that it would happen someday because I already enforced my stand; no more bottom-ing. I guess for now I will just have to feel comfortable being treated as a small boi (which I do) in the way that he does so well. He gave me a PDI shirt and I really love the colour.
Fell from the sky at 9:30 PM
5 Comments:
hhhmm.... am i in that subject list? maybe not.. maybe too perasan... and u sms-ed me for a dinner on that friday evening while i'm on my way to class cos subject 13 cancelled ur dinner? hhmm.....
Well. I really can't tell. I promised not to reveal names haha
But anyway, do you think you have a temper and did you show it to me? If so, then perhaps... if not then you're probably thinking too much
Haha hope that helps. No hard feelings though.
Were you subject 13? Ask yourself la... you should know :)
I think I'm Subject 12... Haha. We'll meet up soon. And at times I didn't reply your msg's coz I was in the gym or I received them when I was sleeping or driving!
I really can't tell you whether you are subject 12... besides, I can't.
It wouldn't be fair to anyone.
Haha. No sweat. You don't have to force yourself to reply my messages :)
Helo stranger..
i came across your blog months ago while trying to understand what a "Potato Queen" is. Googled Potato Queen and bang! here i am.
My name is Keith and im currently studying in Melbourne. I never really had the time to go through your blog until tonight(couldnt sleep, still trying to adapt to day light saving). I am already halfway through the november 2005 Archive.
This is pretty interesting, its like reading a novel, a story book, a live journal. Kept reading and i dont think ill stop anytime soon until im finished. Except i know im probably 6 years too late. Abandon blog left in ruins. You probably wont even get to see whats written here now. 19 years old in august 2005, I was still in form 5, worrying about SPM, a month before my 17th birthday.
So your 25 years old now ey. This is like another one of those 'mother and child' drama in which the timing of events just did not meet, and she found out that her daughter she's been looking for is dead and all these while her grandchild was adopted by the family living across the street. Okay maybe not like that, but my point is you are a person!
aaaaaaaaaahhh i dont think you'll understand what im trying to say, but im hoping your someone i perhaps know or will get to know!! I WANNA MEET YOU IN PERSON!
KEITH!
P/s: Hey mr pikey. if you get a notification about my comment, would you tell me who this person is and how i can find him???
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