Lessons

I think through this scholarship, God has taught me more than anything I've ever learnt as a kid, as a teenager and as a young adult.

I think the lessons learnt from this "scholarship", if you may, I will take to my grave.

First lesson - I learnt that you are alone in this world when it comes to your problems. Nobody can help you. People perhaps can lend you an ear, but they cannot help you. You have to help yourself. There is no other way. So much for believing in the "knight in shining armour" who will save the day. Furthermore many people would turn their heads away when you have problems. Many people do not wish to deal with your problems and so they disappear with the thought of having you as a nag. This is where you feel the MOST lonely. Many of your friends will deny you, not answer your calls or text messages or emails, change the topic even with the slightest mention of it, and most hurtful of all, act as though nothing has happened because, after all, nothing happened to THEM. So, the rule of the thumb is, yes you can have friends but like Jesus, be prepared for them to "deny" you. Save the thought of “pouring out your problems to other people in hopes of finding answers”. Only you can help yourself. Only you can find the answers that you seek.

Second lesson - Money makes the world go round. In a very literal sense, that is. It makes heads swirl in many directions, especially if the word money is synonymous with DEBT. Nobody wants to be in debt. And people will do bad things, crazy things, just to get their way around a problem that has the word "money" in it. Why? Because, money makes the world go round. We all start beating round the bushes at the slightest hint that we may be responsible for the "bill"

Third lesson - When in doubt, do not ask. Interrogate. Self explainatory.

Fourth lesson - People can say a lot of things but only a fraction will stand up for what they say. Words are only words until they are turned into action. Many people say that they will be this they will be that they will do this they will do that, but when faced with the three-headed-monster they turn blue and say something else. That is the power of words. They give you false impressions about a person as you cannot hold a man by his words. Read "there is absolute necessity to put down in pen and paper a bunch of words and sign below just to make sure"

Fifth lesson - You have to be responsible for your actions. You have to know that in doing anything, there surely is a responsibility that you have to uphold. No matter how little that thing is, you must be prepared to pay the consequences of those actions whether good or bad. Failure to pay the consequences will result in more dreadful and sometimes, more numerous consequences. Hence, whenever you do something, be sure to check that you are ready to face the consequences. The lesson here is not to refrain from taking risks, rather be prepared that the risks you take may incur liabilities that even you cannot repay.

Sixth lesson - You cannot make it to the top on your own. Sounds contradicting to the first lesson, right? But it is mutually exclusive. You cannot be successful without the help of another person. You cannot achieve "greatness" on your own. Without the support of another person (even if support means signing a guarantee letter), you cannot make it very far. You need people whom you can trust, and who trust you because without them, you are nobody. You are nothing.

Seventh lesson - When doing a deed for someone, never, I repeat, NEVER expect something in return for that deed. Perhaps I would use the world "foolish" to describe a person who does. We all don't want to "invest" in something without returns, but giving is one investment that doesn't require returns. When you give, make sure there are no strings attached. That applies to both parties; when you receive, make sure you don't expect more. Expectations are greater sins than the act of being a miser.

Eighth lesson - It helps if you have a private space where you can do whatever you like. Especially cry. When the world is tough on you, you need a place where you can feel safe, where you can let go, where you can run away for a while. By running away I do not mean staying away from the problem indefinitely. I'd like to think of it as a vacation. The lesson here is, you have to allocate time to "run away". Battling the demons without "resting" will only result in severe torment afterward. Have a cry, have a rant, whatever. Eat chocolate if it makes you happy. Then and only then when you are fully rested do you wage a full fledged war against your demon(s). You need to rest so that you are better prepared to face a problem, not strike at it blindly until you lose consciousness.

Ninth lesson - Friends come and go. Especially the close ones. Be ready to make new ones because your old ones may leave you any moment. And don't feel lonely if they do leave you, take it as their loss. You can't stop them from running away, but you can make many more friends. Never stick to one person. Ever.


I said these were lessons. Not that I've applied any one of them successfully. I have come to understand that they exist, these lessons, and the implications of them will slowly seep in, I hope. I want to learn from them, but again as the fourth lesson says, words remain words until they turn into action.

The first step towards greatness is realising that there is need for change. I am taking the first step and hopefully the first of many more steps to come towards becoming a better person. Thank you God for giving me this scholarship that I may see all these things I’ve previously denied or ignored.

Meanwhile, I'm trying my best to make use of this opportunity to grow up. Nobody can and will be a child forever.

It's best to be prepared at any costs. After all, I am growing up.

I am becoming an adult and I will soon carry all the responsibilities that come with being one.

Wish me luck in this phase of life.