Confused

Again, it comes without warning. Just as I had fun over the past few days, I am beginning to feel the same feelings as before.

The same dark feelings.

Frankly at this point I don't know what to do with my life. I remember when I was a kid I kept telling myself, yes, I'll do biology, yes I'll do R&D, yes I'll die a scientist. But now, when I have to make the decision for real, I'm doubtful of my choices.
Because now, the decision will thoroughly affect my next 40 years of work.

I am thinking of taking a degree for the qualification, and then upon graduation I will work in an unrelated field. You see, I don't want to work in a lab for the rest of my life. In fact, the very thing I want is to meet new people and travel to places. I want to deal with people and I want to be an administrator.

I have many friends who are already working and I have heard many success stories. There are even a few who do not possess a basic undergraduate degree and yet they are doing well. I guess the most important thing to note here is that they enjoy their jobs and are happy with life as it is. They don't get six digits per month nor do they drive big cars. Their life is pretty ordinary, and yet they are happy.

Why? Because they have found the very job that they enjoy doing.

I need to know what I want in life.

For me, I like meeting new people. I like dealing with different situations, and traveling to places. I like challenges and opportunities. I like jobs which allow me the opportunity to meet many respected individuals.

I will not get this with Biology or Biotechnology if I go into R&D.

I'm scared of making a decision that will affect my life. I don't know where I should go from here. I don't know direction or sensibility. I'm chaotic.

Where do I go from here? I’m lost.

What do I want to do with my life???