Compacted day
I wanted to back out of the meeting with Tun because I was so afraid of meeting him. Further more, I was very stressed about the whole issue and constantly asked myself whether the pain was worth it.
As I had posted before, I felt pushed to do this. I felt forced to do it.
So I was ready to say, I don’t want to meet Mahathir and I don’t want this scholarship. But before I said that, I said a simple prayer to God and asked him for direction.
The very next day my father called and I told him about my plan to reject this offer and not attend the interview. Of course, a natural response from him was puffs of anger expressed in harsh sentences across the phone.
My brother had heard me speaking to my father on the phone as I had answered it in the room. And immediately after I had hung up, my brother started talking to me in a way that he never has; he started talking to me as equals.
He told me about himself. He told me about how foolish I would be to give this up. He told me a great deal of things which I will not share here (partly because it was meant for me and not for anyone else, and partly because it was a lot of things). He continued speaking to me, not in a harsh manner but in a very brotherly manner, and asked me to reconsider my decision to reject this opportunity. He spoke for about an hour and a half.
And immediately after, my aunt from Singapore called on his handphone and requested to speak to me. Again, she presented her case to me with backing up from her husband.
But the important part about all the “speeches”, if you may, was that none of them told me that I MUST go for this interview and I MUST get it. They all told me, do what your heart feels is right. You can fail yes, but failure is ok if you had tried. Better to try than to not try at all.
I thought about it through and through. And then I remembered the prayer I had asked God the previous night…. It went something like this:
“Dear God, I am unsure what to do with my life. Please send me guidance and help me seek a way out of this. God, I believe that you will show me the way out of this, and I thank you for all the blessings You have granted to me.”
And in less than 24 hours, three people had persuaded me to reconsider my thoughts about dropping the scholarship.
***
You will never be able to describe the feeling of being able to meet Yang Amat Berbahagia Tun Mahathir bin Mohamed.
Should you feel elated that of all the million people in Malaysia, he wants to see YOU? Or should you feel scared of meeting such a influential and opinioned person? Or should you feel proud that you have this opportunity given to you so easily whilst other people with higher ranks than you have to wait months on end before they can even afford a 5 minute meeting with Tun? Will you feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of the task, or feel fearful to meet him in person?
I felt all these feelings at the same time.
15 minutes was all I was given, and yet, it was one of the most important 15 minutes of my life.
When I entered his office at the Perdana Leadership Foundation, immediately I went blank. All the rehearsal and all the notes in front of me melted into pulp. I couldn't think about what I wanted to say, nor articulate my thoughts so that I don't start talking mumbo-jumbo.
Because merely seeing the man in person is overwhelming enough. He just sat there in his chair, silently smiling at me. He wanted ME to talk to him about my dreams and aspirations. It took me a few seconds to gather my thoughts and take a deep breath before I went on my-style; babbling all I could about why I wanted the scholarship, my purpose of meeting him, my dreams and aspirations... He didn't ask me many questions; in fact for most of the time I found myself talking.
He told me that he will recommend me to JPA and hopefully they’d award me a scholarship. I thanked him and cordially left the room, not having a chance to ask him for his autograph as I had planned earlier; his secretary suggestively ushered me out of the room. There was another person after me, so I guess that he had a tight schedule today.
On the way home from Putrajaya my heart leapt with joy. Not only had I done out what I had set to do, but I had also met the man in person. I have been given the opportunity that not many people get. To talk to Mahathir as equals. Of course, he and I are both humans, and although I treat him with undue respect and praise his achievements, I believe that we both are not very much different from the human point of view.
I felt so relieved that it was finally over.
15minutes with him, 3 weeks of preparation.
Now all I have to do is just sit back, relax, and hope for the best. I have done all that I could, with help from my father and help from my relatives in Singapore. Finally, after all the sweat, toil and nervousness, I have overcome this barrier in life. Now I can safely say that in 40 years time (if I survive until that age, that is) I will NOT look back on my past and say that I did not take up this opportunity. I can safely say that I tried my best, regardless of whether I actually obtain this scholarship or not. The most important thing is that I tried.
How many people can say that they’ve met Tun and more importantly, talk to him as equals?
I decided to celebrate this day with an outing to Frangipani, a bar in Changkat Bukit Bintang.
Had a good time, as well as a few suggestive looks from cute people.
I'm going clubbing again today!
As I had posted before, I felt pushed to do this. I felt forced to do it.
So I was ready to say, I don’t want to meet Mahathir and I don’t want this scholarship. But before I said that, I said a simple prayer to God and asked him for direction.
The very next day my father called and I told him about my plan to reject this offer and not attend the interview. Of course, a natural response from him was puffs of anger expressed in harsh sentences across the phone.
My brother had heard me speaking to my father on the phone as I had answered it in the room. And immediately after I had hung up, my brother started talking to me in a way that he never has; he started talking to me as equals.
He told me about himself. He told me about how foolish I would be to give this up. He told me a great deal of things which I will not share here (partly because it was meant for me and not for anyone else, and partly because it was a lot of things). He continued speaking to me, not in a harsh manner but in a very brotherly manner, and asked me to reconsider my decision to reject this opportunity. He spoke for about an hour and a half.
And immediately after, my aunt from Singapore called on his handphone and requested to speak to me. Again, she presented her case to me with backing up from her husband.
But the important part about all the “speeches”, if you may, was that none of them told me that I MUST go for this interview and I MUST get it. They all told me, do what your heart feels is right. You can fail yes, but failure is ok if you had tried. Better to try than to not try at all.
I thought about it through and through. And then I remembered the prayer I had asked God the previous night…. It went something like this:
“Dear God, I am unsure what to do with my life. Please send me guidance and help me seek a way out of this. God, I believe that you will show me the way out of this, and I thank you for all the blessings You have granted to me.”
And in less than 24 hours, three people had persuaded me to reconsider my thoughts about dropping the scholarship.
You will never be able to describe the feeling of being able to meet Yang Amat Berbahagia Tun Mahathir bin Mohamed.
Should you feel elated that of all the million people in Malaysia, he wants to see YOU? Or should you feel scared of meeting such a influential and opinioned person? Or should you feel proud that you have this opportunity given to you so easily whilst other people with higher ranks than you have to wait months on end before they can even afford a 5 minute meeting with Tun? Will you feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of the task, or feel fearful to meet him in person?
I felt all these feelings at the same time.
15 minutes was all I was given, and yet, it was one of the most important 15 minutes of my life.
When I entered his office at the Perdana Leadership Foundation, immediately I went blank. All the rehearsal and all the notes in front of me melted into pulp. I couldn't think about what I wanted to say, nor articulate my thoughts so that I don't start talking mumbo-jumbo.
Because merely seeing the man in person is overwhelming enough. He just sat there in his chair, silently smiling at me. He wanted ME to talk to him about my dreams and aspirations. It took me a few seconds to gather my thoughts and take a deep breath before I went on my-style; babbling all I could about why I wanted the scholarship, my purpose of meeting him, my dreams and aspirations... He didn't ask me many questions; in fact for most of the time I found myself talking.
He told me that he will recommend me to JPA and hopefully they’d award me a scholarship. I thanked him and cordially left the room, not having a chance to ask him for his autograph as I had planned earlier; his secretary suggestively ushered me out of the room. There was another person after me, so I guess that he had a tight schedule today.
On the way home from Putrajaya my heart leapt with joy. Not only had I done out what I had set to do, but I had also met the man in person. I have been given the opportunity that not many people get. To talk to Mahathir as equals. Of course, he and I are both humans, and although I treat him with undue respect and praise his achievements, I believe that we both are not very much different from the human point of view.
I felt so relieved that it was finally over.
15minutes with him, 3 weeks of preparation.
Now all I have to do is just sit back, relax, and hope for the best. I have done all that I could, with help from my father and help from my relatives in Singapore. Finally, after all the sweat, toil and nervousness, I have overcome this barrier in life. Now I can safely say that in 40 years time (if I survive until that age, that is) I will NOT look back on my past and say that I did not take up this opportunity. I can safely say that I tried my best, regardless of whether I actually obtain this scholarship or not. The most important thing is that I tried.
How many people can say that they’ve met Tun and more importantly, talk to him as equals?
I decided to celebrate this day with an outing to Frangipani, a bar in Changkat Bukit Bintang.
Had a good time, as well as a few suggestive looks from cute people.
I'm going clubbing again today!
Fell from the sky at 5:27 AM
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